Sometimes you just have to let go

I have a problem. I like to be in control. Who doesn't for that matter? However, I've learned over the past several weeks that my control problem is getting in the way. Sometimes it takes giving up the control to get where you need to go. Running or playing the violin.

I've struggled with spiccato for as long as I can remember. I always thought it was a bouncing stroke. I learned a few things at one of my lessons a few weeks back. It's not a bouncing stroke. Spiccato in italian means short, which just happens to bounce because we're always go so darn fast when we use it. OHHHH. Hmm, that explains a few things. I also learned I try to control it too much. Well, that's because I was trying to make it bounce. Duh. Unfortunately, that just makes things worse. If I try too much it just gets really pecky, like chickens pecking at feed (not really what I was going for I have to say). And because I'm trying so hard and controlling it so much I get really tight, and then tired, and then sore. Turns out if I let go of the tension, and don't try and control things so much I'm actually kind of good at spiccato. Who knew? :) Letting go when I'm playing my violin has been a huge struggle. It's the opposite of the way one of my teachers taught me, and because I of that I got hurt really bad in high school. Letting go is hard. It's uncomfortable. It means taking risks and trying new things. Some may work, others may not, but it never hurts to try. And slowly I'm getting there (the video taping has helped grumble, grumble).

With running, well I tried to control my pace a lot. I wanted to hang with the fast kids and run fast all of the time. Unfortunately, the path to speed involves slowing down. Now I do one speed workout a week and run all of my other runs at least a minute slower than I use too. The difference is huge! My 6 mile run earlier this week felt easy, and I never had to stop to walk or catch my breathe. I just ran at a nice comfortable speed and enjoyed the small lakes forming in my shoes from the rain (ah the memories of high school soccer games in the rain). Long distance running is still something I'm learning, and yes I'm saying that even after four marathons. I'm still learning. Letting go and enjoying the run has helped so much the last 4 weeks. It's not about the pace, and my endurance has skyrocketed because of that. I'm actually really excited about my half marathon next Sunday because of all of this. I can't wait to run and see what happens.

So here's to letting go. May I continue to get better at it because I kind of like being a little more relaxed