All of this comes to at the beginning of our biggest training week, the week we run our 20 mile long run. I can't tell you how many little prayers I've put up hoping that the rain will stop or at least slow down enough that I can get my runs in this week. I don't mind running in the raining, but the storms this morning have been down right dangerous, and that makes me a little nervous. And to be completely truthful it would be nice to only be wet from sweating for a change and not rain, but if I have to, I do all my runs in the rain this week. I don't any other choice since I killed the treadmill 2 years ago (it wasn't replaced). I have to say though, for the first time ever, I am looking forward to the 20 mile run. I have been running better than I ever had. I ran in the entire 18 mile route except for a tiny bit at the end to help a teammate up the final hill (way to go Susan!!). It felt awesome, and it felt even better to look at my watch and see that despite what felt like a slow pace (it's about effort not pace!) my running time was 3 hours 16 minutes. Now I took time at water stops to make sure that everyone in the middle of the group was ahead of me (the mentors get weekly assignments to run with a certain part of the group), so I was out on the course for longer, but it was such a confidence booster!
To be honest again, my practicing has not been as focused the past couple of days either. I'm tired, which is probably more from running than anything else. It doesn't make practicing any easier though. Things that frustrate me while practicing seems to drive me nuts a little bit more when I'm tired. Like e-flat arpeggios. I don't recommend them when you're tired! They are slowly driving me batty. I think there are still positive things though. My teacher challenged me to start figuring out what I like about my playing. It's something I haven't thought of before because most of the time when I taking lessons the teacher is always telling me what I'm not doing right. I don't know what I do well, and there have been a lot of things going on lately that have made me feel like there isn't anything that I do "right." So, here goes. I really am starting to like my sound, especially when I've been working on my solo Bach this week. I have really good posture (got to love yoga & running), and my left hand is pretty darn good. I feel like I still have a lot of work to get to where I want to go. I need to make sure that I don't equate my self worthy with the lack of jobs or students that I have. I don't have any freelancing jobs at the moment, and to say that my student number is low is an understatement right now. The recession has been incredibly tough. I hope that changes soon, but I don't know that it will. I hope I'm wrong! But for now it's time to practice and stay dry! Monsoon season continues for at least another 2 days (although rain is forecasted for the rest of the week...)