In search of peace

My violin lessons haven't been going well lately, or at least that's my perception. Of the last four lessons I've had I've cried through two of them. Sometimes I've even gotten defensive, but mostly I'm not enjoying myself. What's going on? I have an audition April 28th that I've been working on since December. No matter how hard I've worked nothing seems to be good enough. As I was leaving my lesson last week my teacher said things were getting better. Thanks, could you mention that before my self-esteem completely tanked? In between sobs on Monday I told him I felt like I wasn't any good (he told me that wasn't true). I'm hard on myself. I have been trained to seek perfection at all times. There is just one problem, perfection as a human is next to impossible. We are imperfect beings. Admittedly my teacher said that his criticism probably isn't helping, but I needed to get my head out of the dark place it's settled. I don't like picking my violin up at the moment. I would rather do almost anything than practice. On Sunday I spent part of the afternoon running around the front yard barefoot while playing fetch with one of the dogs. It was so freeing. All the weight came of my shoulders and I felt like I was a little kid again. It was something I desperately needed.

So, my teacher gave me something to work on. Clearly I am only seeing the negative in my playing. Not so helpful. So, instead I am suppose to make a list of things that I like or do well, and then list what I need to work on.

When my teacher asked what would make me happy I said running barefoot outside. He told me to find that same feeling while I'm playing. We'll find out how that went tonight, because lucky me I get to have two lessons this week...

Technology Over kill

yesterday afternoon was very interesting. It made me remember a conversation with a friend who is one of my former teachers. So, here's the question: What is the proper way to tell your teacher you will either be late, or your not coming?

Interesting right? When I thought back on it I came up with an interesting answer. See the only way I've ever let a teacher know I'm not going to be able to come is by calling them. When I started talking lessons that was the only way you could do it. There was no Internet to send an e-mail and no such thing as a text message (this is otherwise known as the dark ages to today's children). In fact the friend I mentioned before hates it when her college students send her a text saying they are not coming to their lesson. I can understand that.

This all comes up because of two students yesterday. The first just started at a new school and is running with his cross country team and it keeps running into his lesson. First I get a phone call and voice mail, which is great! Then a get a text message, which I reply to and ask if they want to come on Thursday. Then I get another text message with the same message as the first one. The second student was running late. Her dad e-mails me to say they're late. Fine no problem. I know he's driving so I don't send anything back (by the way I do not use my phone while driving!!!). Then I get a text at would have been the beginning of the lesson saying they're late. It seems a bit much to me. But then I started to think about all of the parents who have started texting me about lessons. No phone calls. No e-mail. Just text. What happened to the old way of doing things? I miss it! While I dearly love e-mail, nothing every beats a phone call or a note in the mail. Personally all of the messages were a bit much, but on the bright side I did know whether or not they were coming, which is a step in the right direction.

So what do you think? What's the best way to let someone know you're not coming?