It's not about pace, it's about fun

I've discovered something on my last couple of runs. The less pressure I put on myself run a certain speed or finish in a certain time the better the run is. Saturday I ran about 15 miles. No pressure to finish in a certain time because I started super early and no pressure to run a certain pace. I just ran and listened to some podcast on my phone. I seem to like listening to podcast on my long runs lately. Maybe because it's similar to running with someone... It was a pretty awesome run!

This morning I did the same thing. I just ran. I didn't pay any attention to pace. I let my body decide what it wanted to do. It was awesome and I ended up averaging 8:57 per mile. Really awesome! I ran into my Team in Training mentor from my first event and her husband while shopping Sunday. They both said how glad they were that I was sticking with it (while also trying to talk me into triathlons. Lots of people have been trying to talk me into them....). My reply was that it's a lot easier to enjoy running when you're in good shape.  But it's more than that. All you have to do is listen. Listen to what your body is saying while you're running. You can have fun no mater what pace you're going. I have many friends who prove this over and over again. I'm starting to get excited about my race in February. I'm going to keep doing what I've been doing and just enjoy the run. Who knows what will happen. That's the exciting part. I'm actually looking forward to running 18 miles this weekend. I know I can do it. I've run further than that many times. And I'm going to have fun! Yeah, lots of fun, and listen to a several podcasts too :)

Cleaning out the old

I've gotten some new stuff for Christmas. My mom got me some awesome new slippers (it's the little things that make a difference when you run long distances) that the dogs are very interested in (they think my new slippers could be a stuffie), and I splurgered on a pretty dress from Anthropologie with my Christmas money. Oh, and I went shoe shopping today :). Which brings me to this evenings cleaning. I needed to find space for my new shoes, which got me to thinking about cleaning up the dresser and closet. I need more room for all of my running gear. It's multiplied greatly over the past couple of years. I have tons of old t-shirts that I don't wear that have some fond memories attached to them. Maybe I just need to find somewhere to store them. I don't think I'll ever wear them again. They are rather big now. It's hard to take them out. I keep thinking I might need some of these things again, but most of the clothes I'm thinking about taking out are too big.

Does anyone else have this problem? or is this just another weird thing about me?

Christmas Lights

Merry Christmas Everyone!!! one of my favorite things this time of year is to drive around to see all of the Christmas lights people have put up. Since I started playing for Christmas Eve services that's gotten more and more difficult (my family use to drive around after dinner Christmas Eve before church). So, I was super excited that people have been leaving lights on over night so that I get to see them while I'm out running. So, my trusty iPhone and I had a little fun on my 4 mile run this morning :)

Enjoy!


View from the porch

This house decorates there mailbox for every holiday. It makes me laugh :)

close up

I liked the blow up snow globe

The dogs are never really sure what to do with this one. Are they fake, are they real animals? We're so confused :)

My new friend

What do you think of my new friend? :) he needs a name, but I haven't thought of one yet....

I like to keep him on my dresser because he makes me smile. He has a very fun gift card to one of my favorite stores inside his mouth. Hope he doesn't eat it!

I'm really happy to have a little break from things over the next couple of weeks. It's nice to be out of some the of negative stuff I've been around recently. I was bouncing off the walls this morning, a clear sign that I'm both feeling better and a little lighter (people were suggesting decaf at Starbucks between the church services I played for this morning). I have a little art project planned for my mirror. I use it all the time to practice my violin. It's actually the reason I bought it in grad school. I want a place that can remind me of the good stuff.

Trying to rise above

I spent a large part of yesterday afternoon feeling like I was an awful person. I shouldn't have let a conversation go where it went. I have learned from past experiences in this particular situation that every time I let this happen I leave feeling like a horrible person. Everything about me is wrong. Everything I've done is wrong. It makes me feel bad for days. This started earlier in the year. It's not constructive or healthy, but it's something that I currently cannot get out of. Add two not so great auditions into the mix and it's no wonder I left for vacation in a not so great mood. Add on top of that being questioned if I was taking us in the right direction, being told that I was wrong, that everything I was doing was awful. It didn't help me feel any better. This one situation is effecting everything else. Over the summer I made the decision to avoid the whole thing. To focus on what I was doing at work, at home, and just do the best I could. I started to attack my practicing like I was on a mission. A mission to get to where I want to go in terms of performing. Going to my lessons makes me happy. Running makes me happy. Trying to have fun with my students and laughing makes me happy. I like it when they tell me I'm silly.

So, how do we deal with things that bring us down? How do we let something roll off our backs when it continues to hurt over and over again? This morning I went running even though I've been fighting a cold for days. I over dressed for my 6 miles and ended up sweating a lot (my hair was soaked), and it felt soooo good! It was just what I needed. At least until the memory of everything from yesterday comes back. I have some ideas for getting out of this funk. Now I just need to start doing some of them.

trying to stay mentally tough

last weekend was a long weekend, which is odd because i don't have any performances. Instead, some of my students played at Phipps Plaza Saturday morning, one of my students was performing on a friend's recital Sunday and needed her violin tuned, and then I had my lesson Sunday evening. Playing has been challenging since the shoulder rest broke Friday afternoon.

My shoulder was soooo sore by the time the kids were done playing (I was playing duet parts). Needless to say practicing Saturday afternoon was challenging. I've pulled out my old sponges to use until my new shoulder rest gets here (which finally shipped this morning 3 days after I ordered it. I don't think USPS is 2nd day delivery like I requested. sigh). This of course can open a whole can of worms among violinist. Shoulder rest vs. sponge (or nothing)? I played for 4 years using a sponge. Believe me I get the arguement. However, I have an unusually long neck for a violinist. Hence the need for speedy delivery of the new shoulder rest. My shoulder, neck, and back all hurt. It's not a lot of fun. I couldn't even make it through a 60 minute lesson on Sunday. I'm trying to practice technique stuff and no solo stuff because I'm worried that I'll mess things up. I'm totally compensating because I cannot hold my violin the same at the moment.

The other problem is that I am once again sick :(. I slept for almost 12 hours Sunday and woke up feeling like a truck had hit me. After cranky knee throwing a wrench in training last week I'm a little nervous about training for my marathon in 8 weeks. I did do a lot of cross training last week, and I did a 20 minute yoga core workout this morning (love yogadownload.com). My legs feel strong. I'm just nervous about running 26.2 without enough training. I've done it before. My first marathon I only got a 15 mile run in as my longest before the race. It was miserable. I don't ever want to go into another race under trained. I feel like I can get away with under training for almost any distance other than a marathon. It's a different monster. Fingers are crossed that i can go running tomorrow. I'm spraying Lysol everywhere trying to kill the germs!!!

The death of a shoulder rest

My shoulder rest has been cracking for a while now in the most unusual place along the side. Yesterday evening there was a very loud crack while I was practicing across the middle of the shoulder rest. Another loud crack this afternoon, and then finally in the middle of our final rehearsal for our student's performance in the morning it gave one final loud crack and split in half :(. I'm going to try calling the store I bought it from to see if there is anything they can do. I only bought it 9 months ago. My last shoulder rest was purchased in 1997 and has never died...